Your own personal Jesus

I've always find it surprising how little a correlation there is between a person's age and their life experiences. The things I can go out and learn, someone else may be learning other things or the same things in a different order and faster or slower than I did. I guess the only thing we really have in common is that no one has all the answers so our pursuit of understanding often leaves us fumbling in the dark.

A good friend of mine is going through a highly evangelistic stage of his life and it's left some of us wondering if it's going to cool down at some point, and if so, when? While his mission field is not (openly) spiritual in nature, it does have a lot to do with self-discovery, which I hold to be one of the most important tenants of any spiritual work. And while he may be ruffling a few feathers in the process, I don't feel a need for concern.

When I was in my early twenties, I got very involved with the church and set out to convert all my friends. Just like my friend, I had the best intentions to share this thing that was so valuable to me. What I couldn't understand at the time is that many paths can lead to the same place. Not everybody had to find their spirituality the way that I did and yet, they could still be spiritual beings in spite of it. I've had this conversation with my evangelistic friend and while he's stopped trying to convert me, he's still quite aggressive with our mutual friends.

I don't know. I don't really feel a need to say anything to him because he's a smart guy and he'll eventually figure out if he's helping or hurting. I see both so I'm not really a qualified judge. If someone asks me for help, I'll step in. Failing that, I'd rather respect his need to go through this.


Everybody's got to find they're own way through
but if you love Love
then Love loves you too.

~ Bruce Cockburn

Not with a bang but a whimper

It is the eve of the hallowed Creo staff party. Last year at this time, we were half way through a bottle of Mescal and three sheets to the wind. I'd only been with the company for a month and it seemed a good way to get to know everyone. Now that I've wrapped up my last day, I was hoping to leave in the same riotous pitch. Instead, I'm recovering from yesterday's food poisoning and now my stomach is the only one around me reading the riot act. I'd been planning for weeks to tear it up in a farewell blowout. Instead, I very soberly said goodbye to my former colleagues.

It's never easy to say goodbye to things you care about. But sometimes you have to in pursuit of something more. Carl Jung had to make the difficult decision to leave Freud's tutelage in order to probe deeper into the depths of the psyche. I have had great teachers who've learned a lot through experience but have no desire to understand the underlying laws that make them work. They are the great explorers who sailed across the ocean and found the promised land. I am the inquisitive clerk who wants to understand the mysterious forces of the winds and tides so that I can reliably guide others to the same spot (and possibly even further.) But in order for me to test my theories, I'm required to sail my own ship and bid my teachers farewell.

Momma, I've got two strong hands
and they're fine as far as hands go
I can shoulder the future I can face the wind
for the dream that I must follow

it's a dream that could kill with its beauty
it's a hurt that can heal with its pain
and with all of these miles that lie before me
I may never get home again

but I'll carry the songs i learned when we were kids
I'll carry the scars of generations gone by
I'll pray for you always and I promise you this
I'll carry on ~ I'll carry on

~ Rich Mullins