Life short, call now

I went a little crazy in 2006 and went on something of a dating frenzy. The attention was great and the relationships (if you can call them that) short. That'd be fine if I was in my 20s or not looking for anything serious - thing is, I'm 32 and not satisfied with these trite encounters. In the hopes of realigning my head and my heart, I went on something of a dating strike. Step outside the system in order to gain some insight into it.

My friends thought it was hilarious but for the most part, I kept it up. Now that I've gained a fresh perspective and I figured I'd get back out there. The first thing I've noticed is that people have so many defenses because it can be so crappy out there. When I didn't care how things went, rejection didn't bother me. Now, I'm a little flabbergasted by it.

"God knows we learn the hard way, all about a healthy apathy"

In Marshall Goldsmith's book, What got you here won't get you there, he notes that a lot of the traits that make us successful can also blind us to our weak points. Unfortunately, getting rid of those traits could potentially damage our future successes. The trick is to get rid of those traits that we think make us successful but really don't. But how do you know which to keep and which to let go of?

Overwhelming evidence seems to suggest that apathy (or at least the perception thereof) is one of the ones you need to keep to be successful in dating. Let's face it, we all like a challenge. It just seems a little disingenuous to be deliberately apathetic in order to peak the interest of the opposite sex, though again, anyone I know who does this tends to do well in the dating scene.

But wasn't I trying to leave that scene?


You've no idea how I long
For even one loving caress
For you to step into my heart
Without deception or duress

Life short-call now

~ Bruce Cockburn