Thank you, my angel

As Karen said, blind Mary taught me how eyes can make pictures. So what pictures do I see, looking back on this darkest night of 2008.

It's been a year of years. I feel as though I've hatched - and am as disoriented as the newly born. I have the awareness of love and the sensation of loneliness.

2008 began with a kiss. And on this turning of growing darkness to growing light, I have had my car smashed with me almost standing between my car and the SUV that hit me. I am thankful for my legs, which I would surely have lost had I still be standing there with my basket of laundry. I was so shaken when I got home, my laundry is still in the car that now emits steam from the radiator.

But what of this year? I have lost a relationship that I knew wasn't a fit. I have lost a job that didn't pay enough to live on. I have found a seeming endless supply of women who want to kiss but not date me. (Kind of awesome, kind of a bummer!) I have found the promise of a fruitful career, should I choose to remain in their employ. But above all, I have found myself.

I have a plan and finally value the act of planning. I have come to value the concept of taking the time to build a life - instead of looking for one to be thrust upon me. I believe that I can find whatever it is I set my mind to find - providing I actually look for it.

So at this, the turning of the tides, I vow to become that man who would befit the dreams I have for my life.

thank you my angel
for the clutter of my life
for dragging me
to the edge of the wilderness
just outside the land of promise

~OTR