Everyday is a one-act play, without an ending

Noah benShea writes:

Because each of us is alone on our journey we sometimes pack our fears for company.

What's so bad about being alone? Recently, I resolved to walk alone for a time because my world was getting too confusing. Love is a curious thing. We all crave it but like Icarus, it burns us if we fly too close. I think I'm less afraid of being alone then I am about being involved with the wrong person... but I'm trying to get over that too.

I had breakfast this morning with some friends, two of whom are married. For the most part, it was a fantastic with the one exception of the little pot-shots the married couple were taking at each other. If this had been the first time, I probably wouldn't have noticed but it wasn't, so now I'm writing about it. Why do people do that? If you're not happy about your situation, why not just bring it up? (in private!) Is questioning the value of your marriage in front of a group of people really your best option?

Maybe I'm just a romantic. Maybe I still believe that if you're patient enough, you'll find the one you're looking for. I guess part of that is finding yourself first. All relationships are work but a successful one requires that you're both working towards the same thing. I used to think that dating was just a numbers game and maybe it is. But love is a different animal.

Some people get to make the news
Some people get to say what's true
Everybody's got to find their own way through
But if you love love, then love loves you too
(bruce cockburn)

I've been reading a book on Zen and it says that the way to control your sheep or cow is to give them a large, spacious meadow. I read that as: if you want a well behaved lover, child, employee, whatever, give them room to be the people they were made to be. Sting says that if you love someone, you set them free. Maybe this idea is what he was getting at. Maybe if we don't hold the ones we love so tight, they'll have room to breathe and be the people they were born to be. Maybe then, we too could then become the people we were destined to be.

Jung says that all our (men's) ideas about women are bound up in one archetype called the anima. All too often, men fall head over heels for their anima (or women for their animus) and miss entirely the person they've formed a relationship with. Perhaps if we let go of our preconceptions about what relationships could be and just let them be what they are, then our potential mates would always just be who they are instead of some fantasy that no one is capable of living up to.

Whatever the case, I'm giving the anima a larger field.


Ring the bells that still can ring
forget your perfect offering
there is a crack
a crack in everything
that's how the light gets in...

~Leonard Cohen